Series 3: Kapudaappe: Miracle Response by Ammu
And so we call her Kapudappe……
Here is a response to the blog on the miracles by Ammu, who experienced Appe’s miracles in her life….read on….
My grandfather , Shankar Shetty, would always tell me stories of the miracles of Appe. His home was in Kapu. ‘Appe thoo-onwolu and Janne Ulle’ were phrases my Ajja would mutter all the time. His stories were mostly around drivers and the accidents they avoided because she was watching over them. My grandmother, Prema, would tell me her stories as well, and that mostly surrounded Appe’s origin stories and how her children came to be. My mother would drive past Marigudi and her eyes would quickly look at the time and day of the week to check whether Appe would be at home or not. I found it almost irritating that the moment we passed that Kapu intersection where Marigudi is, she would begin the story of how every child born those nine days of Navratri was a boy and how on the tenth day, she prayed to Appe- I was born.
Now as a girl who loved science and saw things only in 0’s and 1’s, these stories rarely made sense to me. As I got older, I would argue about confirmation biases, magical thinking, and even the Forer effects when Tantry would predict something for me. I would still pray because it pleased my mother, got my father to stop lecturing me, and I also enjoyed doing the same things my grandfather did.
I had once read when I was maybe in the Seventh grade about Pascal’s wager, that I had everything to gain in believing in a higher power and it turned out to be true, and eternal damnation if I didn’t. An obvious choice for me then , was to believe. If Pascal, Newton, and Schawlow had a need for their gods in their lives, who was I to decide that early that I shouldn’t believe in mine?
Now unlike my family, I chose to believe only in one- Appe. My mother even went ahead and got me a gold pendant with her on it that I have never taken off. I do not know if these are miracles, or in some way a confirmation bias, but there were four major incidents in my life, where I prayed to her and found things work out or felt like when no one else could- she took care of me.
The first was when my aunt and mother came to take me away from school because Ajja had a stroke, the whole drive there I prayed to Kapu da Appe and he had survived. By the time we got to Udupi, he was busy ordering around the nurse, making sure I had food to eat, and being a family of car lovers, was asking my mother at what speed did the Ford fiesta come down the ghat.
The second was when I was seventeen years old. Everyone around me had lost faith in my ability to study further in my life. Twelfth , they said was the cut off for me. After which, my family had decided that it was best to somehow put me into an English language degree and have me become a teacher. I wasn’t willing to let go of my love for science. I had prayed to her those nine days of Navaratri and on the 10th day, it was decided that I would start an engineering program with barely any grades to qualify me for one. I went on to graduate from the top Five schools in the world.
The third was when I was nineteen. My parents had sent me alone for the first time for a semester abroad. My aunt and grandmother were completely against it. They were the ones who pampered me most, and thought my mother idiotic for letting me go out into the wild with no wilderness country in Central Europe. Lost my phone, my fourth week there, with no way of contacting my family. Praying to her, out of nowhere three people came to help me. I found a way to find my phone three days later.
The fourth was while in the US and close to where the wildfires were. Exiting a convenience store during the BLM movement, I was almost collateral damage in a shooting. Just a few minutes before that inside the convenience store, I was praying to her to resolve something else and while no flights were taking off during COVID. I prayed to go back home at that time and a flight that was once full had suddenly a cancellation for me to get on it.
There have been many such instances where I’ve grappled with faith and she’s always found a way to show her presence in my life. Sometimes it was something simple like forgetting my wallet but finding a way to get home or a family member at the hospital whose recovery I’ve prayed for. I have encountered times where the end of the tunnel wasn’t in sight and somehow something always worked out. Some say it’s the law of attraction, some say it’s manifestation that has pushed me in life and got me to where I am. It could be true, but until then miracles have always worked for me when I’ve thought of Appe….
Contribution by Ammu
Her dwelling, the devasthana, may have been moved to a better place where larger numbers can flock to seek her protection. Just as we make offerings to rebuild our homes and create more space, our mother needs us to build her new home. The appe calls us all to come forward and experience her presence in our lives as we together create a new history of her existence.
Note:
The renovation work is at speed of the temple, if you would like to donate please access the link: https://www.srihosamarigudikaup.org/contact-us/