Raising an independent child: The Americana

Flipping through the sequence of new releases on Netflix got me pausing at Miss Americana. Preview brought back memories of the little one who grew around me as we heard her sing with ease the songs of Taylor Swift. There were times when the music system in the car during our long drives played just the songs of this great singer and her music style which was gospel for young girls like my daughter. Click on the play tab and I chose to watch the documentary of the renowned singer and songwriter. With the title of the movie being borrowed from one of her songs, what sustained my interest was its connection to the ‘horribly good’ girl who was used to sheer applause and no critic. A stereotypical upbringing that women give their daughters, choosing pink over the blue for the frock, tying the bow and ensuring the pony is in place on the head, not allowing a single ruffle or a hair strand go haywire. Defined laws for women right from the time the girl is little whether in the Western world or Indian society. Good manners and perfect etiquette, expected praises and quoted virtues are what grow to be songs for the ears of the young one. Suppression of the voice and obeisance to patriarchy surrounds the girl, so much so that even the professional world grows to be the fiefdom of men and one is given very little choice but to graciously accept the lambast on a stage exposing her vulnerability to the world. The poignant moment of the movie is when she is speechless as she listens to the offensive remarks. I chose to turn off the TV as Taylor retreats to her inner spaces, fearing the world….only to sneak a few more scenes until the turning point of the movie when she resists the assault on her. Thereafter her fearless political views, her defiance, her courage to break her silence and give voice to her inner thoughts, her focus on coming back and her political and feminist stance, puts back the movie on my screen. Likable or despicable, rejection or acceptance does not matter to the artist as she sways ahead in life. All throughout is the presence of one lady in her life: her mother! These are inspirational mothers albeit unsung. They are the ones who nurture their daughters. They comfort their daughters assuring them that they can count on them in times of distress or joy. Confidence in the talent of the child, give them the freedom to make their own decisions and without much interference in the life of the child. Raising an independent child is all about allowing the child to make decisions, motivating them, avoiding controlled parenting and most of all empowering them. From a pleaser to a disappointed girl to her reaction and frustration at what is happening around her, Ms. Americana covers it all as she rejects the patriarchal society around her to rise and soar higher!